Let the Children Come to Me (Part 3): Humility

Let me tell you a secret that has taken me a while to learn: pride is not beautiful. It is not beautiful to others. It is not beautiful to your spouse. And it is especially not beautiful to your children.  But humility is beautiful.

Why is pride dangerous? Well, on the lighter side, when we have our nose upward in pride, we can’t see the cracks in the sidewalk that cause us to stumble. As some of us know, it is similar to having bi-focal glasses. Solomon gives us a bit more:

“Pride goes before destruction, and a haughty spirit before a fall.”  Proverbs 16:18

Falls may be emotional, relational, economic, spiritual, etc.  I think that Proverbs is intentionally non-specific so that it can refer to any of these and more.  Reflect on this a minute.  What kinds of things have you seen pride bring about?   What has happened as a direct result of your pride.

I’ll share one. In grad school, I was offered an American Express Card.  What a beautiful tool, and what a dangerous trap. I was proud of it. After about 3 months, I realized AmEx cards don’t have interest; they just have to be paid off every month. I didn’t have the money to both pay off my card and eat. So, I lived for two weeks on a single bag of potatoes. Smarter and humbled, I cut the card into small pieces.

Peter takes this even further:

“Clothe yourselves, all of you, with humility toward one another, for ‘God opposes the proud but gives grace to the humble.’  Humble yourselves, therefore, under the mighty hand of God so that at the proper time he may exalt you, casting all your anxieties on him, because he cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:5b-7

What is it about pride that makes it so offensive to God? Pride is a challenge to the sovereignty of God. When we puff up in pride, we tell God we are in charge. We tell Him we are little gods of our own little spaces. No wonder our loving Father takes the time to teach us we are not up to the task of being god!

What does pride look like to our children? Especially when they are young, but even as adults, our children seek genuine relationship from us. Arrogance and pride are self-focused, and feel like neglect to our children. I have a friend whose father was a well known medical doctor.  My friend grew up waiting outside his father’s closed office door longing for interaction, the love he deserved and never got. He felt neglect as a result of his father’s self-focused, career-minded, pride.  

It is my belief that pride is a direct result of a weak understanding of our true identity in Christ. If I don’t think that God views me as significant, I’ll try to make others see me that way. If I don’t believe that God accepts me as I am even in my brokenness, I will seek to make myself look great in the eyes of others. If I don’t feel secure, I’ll climb over others in an attempt to get a “better” status.

But in Christ, we are accepted, secure and significant already. These are not things we need to earn; they are what we already have in Christ.

In Freedom in Christ, we talk about these often. That’s because upon them, a strong foundation of humility can be built. And the consequence of a life built on humility is beauty, which everyone around us will see. Humility is a way to build a relational bridge between us and our children.