What’s the Story You’re Telling?
As an academic, I’ve taught in different areas of media, design, user experience, video production and experiential design. At the core of it all is story. Humans are drawn to the idea of a good story. It’s what excites us about the new movie we want to see or the television show we can’t stop watching. It’s why we love to hear that crazy story from a relative or about the interesting thing that happened during your child’s school day. When we share stories, we reveal part of ourselves and our character, and they give us an opportunity to relate to others.
Stories also sway our emotional state. They can pick us up or set us down.
Recently, I had a conversation with a colleague at work. As I walked back to my office, I reflected on our conversation. I realized that I had just shared a story of my lived experience. It involved other colleagues in our unit but because it happened to me, I justified talking poorly about the other people in the story. I slandered my coworkers.
At this same time, my colleague shared some ideas she had to improve the organization. The ideas were really good. But I hadn’t really wanted to take the time to hear her ideas. My time was running short, and I wanted to get on with my day.
I had spent so much time sharing my story of slander that I barely even listened to what she had to say. What I realized was that the words I spoke added fuel to a fire while the words that she spoke had the opportunity to improve things, to squelch fire.
Timothy puts this well when he says “And the Lord’s servant must not be quarrelsome but kind to everyone, able to teach, patiently enduring evil, correcting his opponents with gentleness” 2 Timothy 2:24-26 ESV.
As Christ followers, we are called not to be argumentative or negative with our speech but to teach and correct gently. Paul puts the command more plainly: “Let no corrupting talk come out of your mouths, but only such as is good for building up, as fits the occasion, that it may give grace to those who hear” Ephesians 4:29 ESV.
In this conversation with my colleague, I entirely neglected the weight of my words. I didn’t stop to think that even though I was sharing a struggle I had, I was using language that was tearing others down and not building them up. And I was using the excuse that it was something that happened to me so I could share.
As Christ followers, we are called to monitor what is coming out of our tongue because what comes out of it can truly lift or destroy those around us.
Think about the conversations you’ve had this week. What’s the story you’re telling? Did you present a depiction of Christ by speaking with gentleness? Did you provide care for those around you? Did you lift others up?
We often forget the power of an unbridled tongue and neglect the power of a gentle tongue. The words that you say about your colleagues, your friends, your pastor, your church family and others around you make a difference. It may feel better in the moment to vent, but in doing so, you may cause more harm than you realize and hurt your witness. Instead, share Christ by being intentional with your words and using a careful tongue.