Tips for Dating: #5–8
Dating Tip #5:
Set clear boundaries.
You are a physical creation in addition to an emotional, mental, and spiritual creation. You need to be very careful to set clear boundaries so people don’t run over you. Your emotions ultimately belong to Christ; your mind belongs to Christ; your body belongs to Christ; your spirit belongs to Christ. Guard it. Be wise, and be careful. Don’t let anyone run over you. Be very clear with specific boundaries from the get go. Perhaps look back at past relationships and lessons learned there. You can also ask friends to help keep you accountable; keep them involved them in the process. But most of all—set clear boundaries!
Dating Tip #6:
Don’t play house.
People give a lot of good reasons for living together, cohabiting. “Hey, we’re practicing.” “We love each other.” “We’re engaged.” “It’s better for finances.” But the reality is: God says don’t do it. He commands not to live in impurity. The statistics are concerning; couples who cohabitate are 80% more likely to divorce than couples that don’t. Women who cohabitate are twice as likely to suffer from domestic violence and four times as likely to experience depression. Hear the statistics and heed the warning of Scripture; God calls us to be sexually pure—to never even give an inkling of an impression of sexual immorality. So don’t cohabitate and don’t play house.
Dating Tip #7:
Save sex for later.
A lot of good reasons are out there for why people think it is good to experiment with sex prior to marriage, but the reality is life-long committed marriage is always the best experience for sexual intimacy and sexual pleasure. That’s God’s command for us, and I would encourage you to follow it. There are tons of Scriptures about sexual morality, but 1 Corinthians 6:12-20 is a great place to look. Don’t just take my word for it—see what God says about the seriousness of it! If you’ve messed up in the past, go to God and ask for forgiveness, but moving forward into the future have a plan, have a commitment, have boundaries, and have those tough conversations. It’s worth it: save sex for later.
Dating Tip #8:
Fight fairly.
Conflict is going to happen; how you handle it is important. I love James 1:19-20—slow to speak, slow to get angry, quick to listen. If you find yourself getting defensive or avoiding or getting intense in conflict, watch out for those warning signs and practice good conflict resolution. Maybe take a pause when you sense conflict—suggest taking a 20 minute break then coming together again to resolve the conflict. Watch your tone when you talk about it. Don’t go on the offense when you talk about it. Really learn wise ways to solve conflict in a good, godly way.