Marriage: A Covenant Relationship
For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, and the two will become one flesh. . . . They are no longer two, but one.
Matthew 19:5-6
The Lord wasn’t pleased with the false worship of His covenant people. He explained why to the prophet Malachi: “You say, ‘For what reason?’ Because the Lord has been a witness between you and the wife of your youth, against whom you have dealt treacherously, though she is your companion and your wife by covenant. But not one has done so who has a remnant of the Spirit. And what did that one do while he was seeking a godly offspring? Take heed then to your spirit, and let no one deal treacherously against the wife of your youth. ‘For I hate divorce,’ says the Lord, the God of Israel” (2:14-16, NASB).
Divorcees hate divorce as well. Neither spouse feels good when he or she fails to keep the marriage commitments. Marriage is like gluing two pieces of paper together. Any attempt to separate them leaves both sheets damaged. Each spouse is left wounded—and the children of divorce will suffer as well. This is why God established marriage as a lifetime covenant. Unless abuse and infidelity are involved, the permanence of marriage protects the spouses and creates a healthy and stable environment in which to raise children. God is seeking godly offspring that comes from a marriage between a man and woman who honor Him. Society can be no healthier than its marriages.
There are only two covenant relationships in this present age, and both are based on God’s Word and rooted in His character. The first and foremost is our New Covenant relationship with God. The second is the marriage between a man and a woman. All other meaningful relationships are contractual or mutually convenient. Two people can have a covenant relationship with God and consequently have fellowship or spiritual kinship one with the other. However, they don’t have a covenant relationship with each other unless they are married. While contractual relationships protect all parties in case one should default, marriage is not a contract that permits one spouse to leave when the other doesn’t fulfill his or her expectations.
A covenant is a promise to fulfill regardless of the other person involved and is made to last regardless of circumstances. The wedding vows are a covenant commitment to stay faithful as a husband or wife, for better or for worse, for richer or for poorer, in sickness and in health, until death separates the two. Commitment is what makes a marriage relationship unique. Love, understanding and forgiveness is what makes it good. Romance makes it pleasurable. In marriage, the two become one in Christ, and together they help each other become more like Jesus.
In Matthew 19:3-12, Jesus admonished the Pharisees who had lost their commitment to stay married. They didn’t want to commit adultery, because that was a capital offense under the law, so they were divorcing their wives for any little reason (see also Matthew 5:31-32). They were actually proliferating adultery, because they had no biblical grounds for divorce. Jesus said, “Moses permitted you to divorce your wives because your hearts were hard. But it was not this way from the beginning. I tell you that anyone who divorces his wife, except for sexual immorality, and marries another woman commits adultery” (Matthew 19:8-9).
some questions to ponder:
According to Malachi 2:14-16, why was the Lord not pleased with His people? How did God describe His covenant with them?
Why did God establish marriage as a lifetime commitment?
How does a covenant differ from a contract?
How has the marriage or marriages of your parents affected you?
How committed are you to your wedding vows (now or future), and to the sanctity of marriage?
Neil T. Anderson is the founder of Freedom in Christ Ministries. He began the ministry in 1989 and continues to spread the message of freedom to this day.