Let the Children Come to Me
Let the Children Come to Me: An 8-Part Journey to Restoring Relationships
“... but Jesus said, ‘Let the little children come to me and do not hinder them, for to such belongs the kingdom of heaven.” Matthew 19:14
There is a TV series called John Adams. It’s a historical series that portrays the second US president’s life story. My most memorable scene is the one in which President Adams hears that his son has once again gotten himself into trouble. President Adams arrives at his son’s house, knocks on the door and finds a disheveled, sullen young man at the door. He starts into a prepared speech which rises in volume and gets more accusatory as it continues. In the end, President Adams says that his son is an embarrassment.
I remember thinking, “How tragic... what a mean old man.” What might have been a time of reconciliation or encouragement disintegrates into harsh, angry division.
From what I now understand from Freedom in Christ, I see four key points that could have turned this conversation another way: love, humility, God’s ability to change people, and waiting. In the TV series, President Adams took advantage of none of these. But there are two more important pieces in this spiritual battle we wage as parents: blessing and spiritual authority. Let’s explore these points.
Love: How can we love our children, or anyone for that matter, better? We love as we lean into God.
“Beloved, let us love one another, for love is from God, and whoever loves has been born of God and knows God.” 1 John 4:7
We can’t love our children on our own. But God can raise up a tender heart inside of us that looks beyond whatever current issues there are and allows us to embrace our children (and others) as they are. Note that in the verse above love is “from God.” We cannot generate this God-type love on our own, but we can love as we let God love through us. How does this work?
“... because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.” Romans 5:5
We give what we have received. We love as we have been loved. We forgive even as we have been forgiven, and especially in the relationships which are closest to us.
Humility: President Adams was likely concerned for his own reputation; that’s why he called his son an embarrassment. He was arrogant and didn’t really care for his son. Why might we act out in arrogance? In my experience, arrogance can arise out of insecurity, or a sense of insignificance. The world is an unfriendly place in many ways, and without the perspective that God really is in charge and is for us, we will feel insecure. Additionally, if we are trying to get our significance from our family and their choices (good or bad), we are looking in the wrong direction. Our significance can only be firmly established in the presence and face of the God who calls us significant. We are His children. We are His beloved. We are his own.
God’s Ability to Change People: God can change people, but we cannot. In the midst of a sermon on worship, our music minister made the statement, “Don’t even try to change your wife.” Bold? Yes. Surprising? Yes. True? Also, yes. He stated things exactly as they are. Only God can change a heart. And only God can change our children’s hearts.
So, what do we do?
Wait: I know it is difficult, but here is David’s advice: “Wait for the LORD; be strong, and let your heart take courage; wait for the LORD!” Psalm 27:14
We wait, we pray, we love, and we humble ourselves before our own children and others. By doing so, we build a bridge of communion and communication which can be accessed in time of need when they are ready.
Yesterday my wife and I were reviewing all the amazing changes we’ve seen in our friend’s children. There was one consistent theme: the parents had changed their attitudes toward their children first, and then their children changed, allowing restoration in their relationships to begin.
As we know, our responsibility is to conform to the image of Christ by renewing our minds, and consequently, rebuilding our hearts, attitudes, and actions. “God can change anyone,” is what I often say when beginning a Steps to Freedom in Christ Appointment. Of course, this also includes us...
Blessing: In both the Old and New Testament, we see that blessings were often spoken over people. The Lord blesses Abraham. Isaac blesses Jacob. Jacob blesses his children. But also, Jesus calls us to bless our enemies. Jesus speaks a blessing of peace over the disciples in John 14:27 and in the prayer of John 17. We can speak blessings over our children and others with powerful effect.
Spiritual Authority: For those who are parents, you are given spiritual authority over your children. While this is most evident when they are in the home, it doesn’t stop there. We access authority in Christ by speaking it out into the spiritual domain. We will discuss more about this later in the series.
The process we are going to propose over the course of this 8-part series is the following:
Get (yourself) right with God first.
Build a relational bridge to allow personal contact and discussion.
Use the relational bridge to connect with your prodigal child (or sibling, friend, neighbor, etc) and speak into their lives once God opens the door to do so. Speak with gentleness, respect, and love. Condemnation will cause them to run back into darkness.
*An important note: This series was originally written for parents with prodigal children. However, these truths can apply to anyone we have a strained or difficult relationship with—a brother, sister, child, friend, or neighbor. Whether you’re a parent or not, you can gain valuable insight from these devotionals.