I Am Complete
Colossians 2:9-10: “For in (Christ) all the fullness of Deity dwells in bodily form, and in Him you have been made complete, and He is the head over every ruler and authority” (NASB2020).
I hate to admit it now, but as a teenager, I did not go very long without a girlfriend.
Let me share one story. The summer just before I turned 18, I worked as a lifeguard at our local community pool. It didn’t take long for me to notice one of the young ladies on the swim team. Because she was always at the pool helping the younger kids improve their strokes, I assumed she was an assistant coach. I honestly thought she must be about 19 years old, so it took me a while to get the courage to ask her out!
When I finally asked her, she said yes!
About a week after we began dating, I was hanging out at her house, and I asked how old she was. I still remember her reply: “I’ll be 14 soon.”
Two thoughts immediately ran through my mind. ‘Dear God, I’m going to get arrested!’ followed very quickly by, ‘What were her parents thinking by allowing this!?!’
Outwardly, I stayed calm, but I broke up with her about a week later. I don’t know if I ever told her why; I pray she has forgiven me!
Authors and psychologists Les and Leslie Parrott, in their book Relationships, say that people generally believe one of two lies: they believe they need another person to be complete, or they think that if another person needs them, then they will be complete. Either way, they are looking to a weak and fallible human being for their fulfillment.
As a teen, I fit into the first category. I didn’t feel complete and thought that I needed someone to love me so that I would feel complete. I now realize that I was using people to try to feel fulfilled instead of receiving my fulfillment from God—and then loving others from that place.
In terms of the other category, I had a conversation recently with a friend who experienced abuse as a young person. She mentioned how children of abuse often lack self-protection modes. They overlook danger signs to try and create or replicate relationships that will fulfill their needs of acceptance, security, and significance. I wonder if overlooking the danger signs is a result of thinking that, if this other person needs me, I’ll be complete.
Here’s the catch: Our needs for acceptance, security, and significance are real needs that God designed within us. He made us to be in relationship with Him and have those needs met by Him—and then through healthy relationships with others. As Neil Anderson has stated, we absolutely need God, and we necessarily need one another!
The Apostle Paul wrote, “See to it that no one takes you captive by philosophy and empty deceit, according to human tradition, according to the elemental spirits of the world, and not according to Christ. For in him the whole fullness of deity dwells bodily, and you have been filled in him who is the head of all rule and authority” (Colossians 2:8-10, ESV).
The word translated ‘take you captive’ in verse eight means to plunder, seduce, or lead away as spoil. Paul witnessed people being led astray by those who preached the ways of the world. Their motive was to benefit themselves and take from others.
On the contrary, Jesus was, and is, the complete fullness of God who lived in bodily form. He “came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many” (Mark 10:45, ESV).
As a teen, my immaturity led me to take from others so that I would feel complete and fulfilled, even if it was only temporarily. I thank God that finding my identity in Christ allows me to serve others because I have been made complete in Christ.
Dear Saints, we have the opportunity to serve and build others up, giving of ourselves for their benefit. But that only flows from a fullness found first in Christ. Let’s not be like the world, who lives to take from others in an attempt to fill that God-shaped void in their hearts. We are truly complete in Christ!