Guard Your Heart

It was our wedding day, and everything had gone beautifully! After the ceremony, we spent an hour greeting people and then made our way through the celebrating crowd to our getaway car, a beautiful, sparkling white Lincoln Continental. 

We ran down the walkway as people showered us with rice (I know…we don’t do that anymore…but this was over 30 years ago). I opened the door for Jen and helped her inside the car. 

Then, I did something that I will probably never live down. To escape the showering rice, I placed my hand on Jen’s shoulder and the side of her leg and pushed her across the leather seat to the other side so I could quickly hop in! 

She could not believe I pushed her when I should have been a gentleman and walked around to the other side. I couldn’t believe she wanted me to stay outside and get even more tiny grains of rice everywhere!

For years, my wife teased me about shoving her when she was in her wedding dress. Honestly, it was a selfish and inconsiderate thing to do!

Years later, I dropped our daughter off for a picnic date with her boyfriend, a godly young man we still love to this day. It wasn’t a good sign when I got a text message half an hour later asking me to pick her up. Apparently, he told her their relationship would end when they headed off to college a year later. Until that moment, she thought the relationship had the possibility of a long-term commitment, so the announcement shocked her.

I listened as she talked and shared her hurt feelings. We decided she needed to carefully consider her next steps and how she would guard her heart from further investment, knowing the relationship would end.

Proverbs 4:23 says, “Above all else, guard your heart, for it is the wellspring of life.” (NIV).

Note the context of this verse: God instructs us in wisdom, and then tells parents to pass it along to their children. “Guarding” comes through gaining wisdom and knowledge, then walking in the way of righteousness.

Going back a few chapters, we see that when we pursue wisdom and understanding of the Lord’s character and ways, that wisdom goes to our heart and protects us from evil people. We gain discretion and avoid the ways of wickedness (Proverbs 2).

Then in Proverbs 3, we see that when we keep God’s commandments from our heart, we gain peace and can love others well.  Wisdom that makes its way down into our heart helps us honor God in all areas of life.

In Proverbs 4:20-27, the author summarizes good reasons to gain wisdom and live by it:

“My son, pay attention to what I say; turn your ear to my words.

Do not let them out of your sight, keep them within your heart;

For they are life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body.

Above all else, guard your heart, for everything you do flows from it.

Keep your mouth free of perversity; keep corrupt talk far from your lips.

Let your eyes look straight ahead; fix your gaze directly before you.

Give careful thought to the paths for your feet and be steadfast in all your ways.

Do not turn to the right or the left; keep your foot from evil.”

The opening stories—about me pushing Jen to escape the rice and my daughter’s boyfriend saying they’d need to break up when they went off to college—are simple and silly examples, but they show how easy it is for people to think of themselves first. On my part, I was thinking about how I didn’t want to get more rice in my clothes, not how Jen would feel getting shoved in her wedding dress. In the second example, the young man was admirably aware of his thoughts and plans for the future, but the announcement came across as a stinger to my daughter.

So how does all this tie together? Often, self-centered words and actions can be far more damaging. This is why the writer of Proverbs tells us to guard our hearts “for from it flow the springs of life” (Proverbs 4:23 ESV). God knows how important it is to watch over our hearts because so much stems from them—our thoughts, affections, desires, motives, etc.

Guarding our own heart is our responsibility and serves to protect the teachings of God and our trust in Him. Other people do not usually think of guarding our heart for us (Husbands: if you guard your wife and her heart, you’ll gain points for loving her well!)

Now, this doesn’t mean you put a wall around your heart and don’t let other people close or get to know you on a deeper level. We must remain emotionally connected to God and others to speak truthfully (vs. 24) and walk in God’s ways (vs 25-27).

Dear Saints, how are you doing at guarding your heart and clinging to the truth that God has taught you? Is your trust in Him growing? Or are you tempted to think ill of God because of hurts you have suffered? Remember, wisdom is found in watching over your heart and not letting people or events lead your heart astray. Ultimately, walking in wisdom will bring “life to those who find them and health to one’s whole body” (Proverbs 4:22).