Christmas Longing
Sitting at the dinner table there was a sudden burst of sadness. The dam broke and the tears flowed. Was it really the most wonderful time of the year?
Memories surfaced of past years.
The year when my parents fought over one of my presents. It was close to the time of their parting ways with one another. I remember jumping into the car, driving into town and going up in the balcony of the church alone to have the waves of “Silent Night” wash over me.
Another year our nephew was tragically injured in a high school wrestling meet and today still lives paralyzed from the neck down. It was in December. And there we were around his hospital bed at Christmas offering the best comfort our meager words could afford.
There were years when broken relationships took center stage. And words spewed out like hot lava, finger-pointing words of accusation and blame.
Christmases spent with parents with dementia—one who became sweeter through the dreaded disease and another who suffered from delusions and bitterness.
Another Christmas morning when para-medics banged at the door because my mom had suffered a stroke that morning at 4 AM and would be rushed to the hospital.
Years when my own brokenness held back the Christmas joy.
What would this Christmas bring? Dread filled my own soul for those few moments. Lord, what do you want me to know?
The Christmas wreath in the kitchen caught my eyes with the banner “Merry Christmas.” But what centered me back into the path of peace was the word Christ. All those hard things were there to point me to Him. The only One who could make sense of it all and offered to redeem it all. Beauty for ashes, His peaceful presence in the storms of life and His promise of the soon coming day when all would be right with the world.
Maybe you’re experiencing the same doubts and fears for your Christmas celebrations. This song shared by a friend has been a great encouragement to me. Though many of the Biblical authors too lamented with the words, “How long?”, hope returned as they poured out their hearts to Him and re-set their hearts and minds to the beauty of His character and His promises.
“Every valley will be lifted high
And the weak will be the strong
When You come like lightening in the sky.
How long, O Lord, how long?
All of our hopes are fixed on You
That Your promises are true
And one day You will return
You will conquer every evil thing
Every sorrow, pain, and wrong
They will cease with Your return, our King
How long, O Lord, how long?”
How Long, O Lord? by Sovereign Grace Music.