Becoming Slow to Speak Like Jesus

For as long as I can remember, I’ve been prone to speak before thinking. As a child, I got in trouble frequently for talking back to my parents or saying something mean. Sometimes it was purposeful; other times it was simply because I just said the first thing that came into my mind. I was “quick to speak and slow to listen,” the exact opposite of the command in James 1:19. And I can tell you from experience—being quick to speak normally doesn’t end up well. 

Psalm 141:3 is a verse I’ve prayed many times in my struggle against this flesh pattern. It says “Set a guard over my mouth, Lord; keep watch over the door of my lips” (NIV). The Amplified version adds “to keep me from speaking thoughtlessly.” Aint that the truth!

My first thought is of a castle or some impressive building with guards outside it. Their main job is to make sure that the only people who get in are those who have clearance, those who have a right to be there. I imagine them having to check badges or ask for identification papers. Or, at the very least, they would know people by face because of how frequently they come in.

The same is true of our words. As Seth has already written about, the tongue is powerful. It can bring incredible healing or terrible damage; it’s no wonder that David asks God to set a guard over his mouth! 

Not long ago, I was given an open door to speak into a difficult situation between two people. I had shared my opinion in the past, so my first instinct was to do it again. But I felt strongly that I should pray first before getting involved. I started praying daily about it. About two weeks later, the situation improved—without my intervening. I can’t help but think: how often do I jump in before giving God a chance to intervene? How often would situations get resolved simply by my prayers, not my words?

I’ll be the first to say that a shift like this doesn’t happen overnight. Being slow to speak takes intentionality and practice. And it only happens as I am dependent on God and led by the Holy Spirit! But the more I do it, the easier it gets. And to be totally honest—the “less” I speak. 

I can’t help but think of Jesus, the perfect example of speaking when He was supposed to and holding his tongue when he wasn’t. When I read the account of Jesus’ trial and crucifixion, I am always astounded by how he held his tongue. How in the world did he keep silent when the Jewish leaders interrogated him falsely? When Pilate questioned him about his identity? When the soldiers mocked him on the Cross? And yet, through this whole account, Jesus only responds a few times. And when he does speak, his words are powerful. Think John 19:11. “Jesus answered, “You would have no power over me if it were not given to you from above…”

This is true of Jesus’ entire life. Jesus only speaks what He hears from His Father: “For I did not speak on my own, but the Father who sent me commanded me to say all that I have spoken” (John 12:40, see also John 8:28 and John 14:10). Jesus is dependent and submitted to his Father in all things—especially with his words.

Recently, my husband shared with me that he noticed I had been holding my tongue more and pausing before I spoke. I think I lifted up my hands and said out loud “PRAISE THE LORD!” because Jesus and I sure had been working on that! Slowly, slowly, slowly I am learning to pause, utter a quick prayer, and wait before saying something. 

Whatever your natural temperament, whether you are prone to speak or prone to hold it in (both have their pros and cons…), may we pray with David: “take control of what I say, O Lord, and guard my lips!” Psalm 141:3 NLT. 

Here’s to becoming more like Jesus, knowing when it’s our time to speak and when to stay silent.