Acceptance
What difference does acceptance make in our daily lives? Why is it so important?
Perhaps you remember, as I do, how teams were picked for basketball, or any other game we played as kids, including spelling contests. Two equally good players were promoted to select their teams. And all of us, “the rest,” stood to the side hoping that we would be called at the top of the list, or at all. We all had set expectations because we had sized up the group and knew where we thought we stood. If we were passed over, we felt slighted and tried to think of reasons why it occurred. And of course, we thought it was too bad that “so-and-so” was last. But we felt it was proper because in our minds, they were the worst player. To this day, such a technique brings emotions. Am I good enough to be selected? Do they think so? What if I am passed over? Is my name on the new org chart? Will I be rejected by my family?
As we grow older, we find that such a process plays out in many of life’s situations. We are ordered by rank at work for promotions and pay increases. We are selected or passed over for church elder or leader. We are invited, or not invited, to neighborhood functions. We may or may not be invited to family functions. We grow older, but we are not immune to the acceptance / rejection question. It can be a root of deep concern, bitterness, and regret. Sometimes we may cope by turning into the family’s “Mark Twain,” hoping to get acceptance through comedy. Alternately, we may take a much darker path.
If we feel rejected, we may withdraw from others. We may be prone to comparison. We may be introspective and self-focused. We may pull away from healthy relationships and build unhealthy ones. We may even slip into shame. All of these forms of rejection have played directly into my relationships and my life.
Acceptance is a big deal to us and in us. It is, as it should be, one of the key items addressed in any discussion of identity in Christ.
So, when I first encounter the identity list or the bookmark and stronghold buster concepts, my deepest felt need was to work through acceptance. It’s not that I had experienced the deep rejection as some have; yet I had still gathered up many, many items of rejection in the bag I carried. How do we lay them down?
Some of these deep hurts require forgiveness. I remember at one point God showed me an issue from my childhood. It caught me by surprise, and I dropped my head to the table and cried. It was deep and certain rejection. But it was not intentional. It was a family dynamic, a generational pattern. Still, it required a full and honest release through choosing to forgive. As I chose to forgive the hurt and release it to God, I could feel it slip into the past where it belonged. The hurt started to dissipate, and soon it was only a memory with a sting.
Other rejections are less obvious and more of a learned response or habit. They may even be hidden (to us) in our soul. The opportunity to reject the lies and embrace the truth can work wonders. If you’ve ever tried a stronghold buster, you know that it takes time to begin the transformation. For the first 15-20 days, nothing seems to happen. But oddly at about the 20th-25th day, you can start to feel the strangle of the stronghold crack and diminish. Finishing the stronghold buster brings an unexpected level of freedom and joy. Persistence pays dividends, and you can move forward in life with one less weight to carry. This is the process of laying aside the weights of sin, as referenced in Hebrews 12:1-2a.
“Therefore, since we are surrounded by so great a cloud of witnesses, let us also lay aside every weight, and sin which clings so closely, and let us run with endurance the race set before us, looking to Jesus, the founder and perfecter of our faith...” ESV
I have found these weights to feel like physical weight. But be encouraged. You can set aside your weights and sins (by you or against you) and find Freedom in Christ!
***As Mark mentioned above, it can be extremely beneficial to work through a ‘Stronghold Buster,’ a simple method of changing your thinking by embracing truth. Make your own Stronghold Buster using this worksheet or watch a Stronghold Buster training put on by our staff.