Why should you accept condemnation from others?
I was looking forward to lunch with a potential new friend.
We had met in the locker room at the Y and quickly started talking about the Lord. I wondered if God was providing a safe person for me to talk through some of the challenging things in life and ministry.
I wasn’t going to start lunch by dumping my heaviest stuff on a guy I barely knew, so I began sharing the exciting things we were doing through Freedom in Christ. Who wouldn’t get excited about life change through faith in Christ!
Apparently, not that guy.
He quickly turned the conversation and started questioning my salvation because I didn’t take a particular stance.
There it was: a turning in my stomach. The feeling of being condemned. Put down. Not good enough. Judged.
It reminded me of a time years before when a young man questioned my salvation because I wasn’t using a particular translation of the Bible. He also challenged me on my modesty because I was wearing shorts… in my church office of all places!
Sometimes, condemnation from others is easy to identify (and even get a chuckle over!). Other times, especially when Scripture is used, or misused, it can be harder to recognize.
In the name of humility and a willingness to learn, I was receiving condemning words from others. If it is true that there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Romans 8:1), then that means we should not accept condemnation from others. Consider Paul’s attitude: “I care very little if I am judged by you or by any human court; indeed, I do not even judge myself… It is the Lord who judges me.” (1 Cor. 4:3-4, NIV)
Condemnation is different from correction. We are not perfect (1 John 1:8), and therefore can always learn and grow from fellow believers. So, how do we distinguish healthy confrontation or correction from negative condemnation?
One Sunday, a friend wrote me an email saying that he had some observations about my habits in our Sunday service. He invited me into conversation, offering to share his thoughts and brainstorm improvements together.
His gentle approach invited me to consider my actions. It’s not a coincidence that gentleness is a fruit of the Spirit (see Galatians 5:22-23)! Plus, he offered to help me find solutions that would lead to growth and improvement.
This is an example of Biblical exhortation.
Jesus told us that if a fellow believer sins against us, we are to go to that person and bring it to his or her attention. If that person listens, Jesus says you have “gained your brother” (Matthew 18:15). If they don’t listen, He gives further direction to draw other witnesses into the conversation.
Notice the relational and restorative aspects of Jesus’ teaching. Correction has to do with actions, not character assassination. If you are feeling condemned, ask yourself: Is this person speaking to you with a goal of restoration? Or are they simply criticizing you?
When you are confronted or corrected within a healthy relationship, the impact will increase your affection for the other and motivate you toward life change.
The Apostle Paul experienced this when he corrected the Corinthian Church. In 2 Corinthians 7, Paul was comforted because the people he had corrected expressed “ardent concern” for him (verse 7). Though his letter had initially grieved them over the weight of their sin (verse 8), it also motivated them to repentance (verse 9). Their experience resulted in greater freedom because of their earnestness, eagerness, and readiness to see justice done (verse 11).
Dear Saints, “There is therefore now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus” (Rom. 8:1). If a person is condemning you, they are not in agreement with God. And if that’s the case, don’t receive their condemnation.
As believers, we want to learn and grow since “Whoever heeds life-giving correction will be at home among the wise.” (Proverbs 15:31, NIV). At the same time, we refuse to receive condemnation from others knowing that “If God is for us, who can be against us? …Christ Jesus is the one who died – more than that, who was raised – who is at the right hand of God, who indeed is interceding for us.” (Romans 8:31-34, ESV)
If another person’s correction is in line with God’s view of you in Christ, cast off condemnation and learn from it. If their view of you does not align with what God says about you, choose to receive the affirmation of the all-knowing King of the Universe and learn from Him.
Because there is no condemnation, it’s all a growth opportunity!