Step 3: Bitterness vs. Forgiveness
It was a beautiful, sunny day in Central New York when all the sudden our boys aged 10 and 8 were crying and yelling. Jacob, the 8-year-old, was hurt and mad. Elijah had kicked the soccer ball into his face and caused him to drop his ice cream.
Elijah admitted kicking the ball at Jake, but when he realized it was actually going to hit him, he had yelled ‘Duck!’ Part of the problem was that, instead of taking cover, Jacob looked around to find it... yes, the duck. And wham!
Mischief and miscommunication became a painful offense with consequences... like ice cream dropped to the ground, which is a pretty big deal to an 8-year-old!
Sometimes what felt like such an offense when we were younger now causes us to smile at the circumstances.
But after 25 years in ministry, Jen and I grieve the broken relationships we see caused by much more serious offense and injury. I’ve worked with far too many marriages that have ended in great pain for all involved. Others continue to struggle into adulthood from abuses suffered in childhood.
No matter what level of injury, from a simple misunderstanding to a grievous wound from an unrepentant offender, we are faced with a choice. Will we live in the bondage of bitterness or in the freedom of forgiveness? The only solution to bitterness is forgiveness.
Hebrews 12:14-15 (CSB) states: “Pursue peace with everyone, and holiness—without it no one will see the Lord. See to it that no one falls short of the grace of God and that no root of bitterness springs up, causing trouble and by it, defiling many.”
There is so much in these verses. One very clear point is that we have a responsibility to see that no root of bitterness springs up.
In my yard, I’ve pulled springtime weeds from the mulch and had 60-foot tall Maple trees cut down. With the weeds, the young root pulls out easily. On the other hand, the Maple roots require heavy machinery or will remain for years, marring the landscape.
The point? It’s easier to remove younger roots. Make the choice to forgive others quickly. I’ve come to the point of pre-determined forgiveness. Others will offend or hurt me and you. It is inevitable… unavoidable. My choice and yours is to stay healthy by forgiving and trusting God.
Forgive others ASAP as possible (yes, sitcom reference!). Don’t allow bitterness to grow those roots “causing trouble and by it, defiling many” (Heb 12:15b).
Paul tells us in Ephesians 4:31-32, “All bitterness… must be removed from you… forgiving one another, just as God also forgave you in Christ.” We can forgive because we have been forgiven.
Take comfort, the Lord is able to remove the deepest root.
Of course, it’s better not to even allow the root to grow deep in the first place. Make the choice to forgive. The earlier, the better.
In forgiveness, you will experience the grace of God along with peace and holiness.