Our Father God is Intimate & Involved
I could see his shoulders relax.
It had happened before in other pastoral counseling sessions. When I repeated back to a person what he or she was struggling with—and they knew I both fully understood them and accepted them as a brother or sister in Christ—they exhibited visible relief.
I haven’t always known how to do this. And to be honest, I learned a lot of it in marriage as my wife and I were teaching others healthy principles of communication and conflict resolution.
Jen and I had to learn how to practice reflective, or active, listening. This is essentially when you can feed back to the other person what they have just communicated in a way that lets them know you not only understand the content of what they are saying, but also their heart behind the communication.
One day in our early years of learning, I did just what the books said to do. I repeated back, word for word, exactly what Jen had just said, only to hear her reply, “That’s not what I mean.”
I was dumbfounded. I had literally just repeated word for word what she had said. And that’s not what she meant!?! What?
But then she elaborated. “It sounded different going into my ears than I thought it did coming out of my mouth.” Ok… I was still puzzled but listening.
She went on to use different words to communicate what she was thinking and feeling. It did sound a bit different that time. I dutifully repeated back word for word what she had just said.
“Yes! That’s exactly what I meant!”
It was so elementary, but it was a success. She felt heard and known and understood.
We can’t even remember the topic of conversation that day. But what we do remember is that we grew in intimacy.
This motivated us to continue practicing, and before long, we were able to summarize each other’s thoughts and feelings without having to use the same words! In fact, sometimes when we’d state back what we heard, it would help the other person understand their own heart and thinking better. We continued growing in intimacy as we came to understand and know one another on a deeper level.
Whether it’s in marriage, in a pastoral counseling setting, or among close friends, it’s good to be known and understood, especially where there is a promise of continued love and relationship. That safety and security provides the environment for healthy intimacy to grow.
Our Father God provides this for us too.
“O LORD, You have searched me and known me… You understand my thoughts… And are intimately acquainted with all my ways.” (Psalm 139:1-3, CSB and NASB)
King David, the psalmist, continues to express his confidence in God’s intimate presence: “If I take the wings of the dawn, if I dwell in the remotest part of the sea, even there Your hand will lead me, and Your right hand will lay hold of me” (Psalm 139:9-10, NASB).
The Lord knows us so well because He is the one who formed us, and He is always with us. “For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb… skillfully wrought…” (Psalm 139:13 & 15c, NASB).
Because He formed us and knows us, He also has a specific purpose for our lives: “all my days were written in Your book and planned before a single one of them began” (Psalm 139:16, CSB).
This is not anything like the deistic notion of a watchmaker who sets things in motion and then backs off to let them run their course. Our Father God is lovingly intimate and personally involved in each of our lives. He carefully crafted each one of us, so He knows how we best function to fulfill His plans. “For we are His workmanship, created in Christ Jesus for good works, which God prepared beforehand, that we should walk in them” (Ephesians 2:10, ESV).
That word ‘workmanship’ is the word from which we get our word, poem. You and I are the expression of the creative genius of the most masterful Poet. We have been intricately crafted as an expression of the heart of God to accomplish significant works that best fit how He has made each of us.
Dear Saints, our loving heavenly Father is not distant or uninterested in you. He has carefully crafted you to fulfill a glorious purpose as you walk with Him. He knows you, understands you, and is intimately familiar with all your ways. And He continues to love you as His precious child through the accomplished work of Jesus Christ.
What more acceptance, security and significance could we ask for?
“I renounce the lie that You, Father God, are distant and uninterested in me.”
“I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, are always personally present with me, have plans to give me a hope and a future, and have prepared works in advance for me to do.” (Psalm 139:1-18, Matthew 28:20, Jeremiah 29:11, Ephesians 2:10) – Neil T. Anderson, The Steps to Freedom in Christ, p. 13.