My Father God Disciplines Me for My Good
Our church was growing which meant that Sunday seating was at a premium.
As the Pastor of Youth and Family Ministries, I decided our family should sit in the front row to open 6 seats elsewhere in the auditorium.
This was a test for two reasons. First, no one wants to sit in the front row: your kids’ behavior can be seen by all! What made our situation even worse was the placement of the cameras. Their angle meant that the front row, and our family, was projected onto the big screens for all to see.
On top of that, it was a test of my internal motivations. As the Pastor of Youth and Family Ministries, I felt like the behavior of my children reflected on me being seen as “fit” for the job. After all, isn’t that in one of the verses about what it means to be qualified as an elder? “He must manage his own household competently and have his children under control with all dignity.” (1 Timothy 3:4, CSB)
I had wrongly interpreted that verse to mean that I had to be in control. The kids were supposed to obey my every command. If that happened, then I was competent to be a pastor.
But I didn’t fully comprehend what was going on until one day when I was about to lose my patience with one (or more) of my kids, and I started to ‘discipline’ them.
Suddenly, the light bulb turned on. The Lord helped me realize that I was more concerned about punishing my kids for making me look bad than I was about helping them learn and grow from the incident so that they could flourish as the person God had designed them to be.
Punishment exacts the cost of bad behavior from a person. It’s more about releasing anger toward the person or object.
However, discipline is forward-looking. Discipline seeks to utilize the incident or behavior to teach and mold the child into the character of Christ. Discipline is focused on the other person’s best interests and long-term development. Is it painful? Yes. But it is meant to be productive, not punitive.
As the author of the letter to the Hebrews wrote:
5 And have you forgotten the exhortation that addresses you as sons “My son, do not regard lightly the discipline of the Lord, nor be weary when reproved by him. 6 For the Lord disciplines the one he loves, and chastises every son whom he receives.” 7 It is for discipline that you have to endure. God is treating you as sons. For what son is there whom his father does not discipline? 8 If you are left without discipline, in which all have participated, then you are illegitimate children and not sons. 9 Besides this, we have had earthly fathers who disciplined us and we respected them. Shall we not much more be subject to the Father of spirits and live? 10 For they disciplined us for a short time as it seemed best to them, but he disciplines us for our good, that we may share his holiness. 11 For the moment all discipline seems painful rather than pleasant, but later it yields the peaceful fruit of righteousness to those who have been trained by it.” (Hebrews 12:5-11, ESV)
As our kids were growing up, we had a drawing on our refrigerator. It was called ‘The Circle of Blessing,’ and we learned it from Tedd Tripp’s book, Shepherding a Child’s Heart.
That circle was a visual representation to our children that showed how obedience brings harmony in relationship while disobedience and rebellion creates discord and moves them outside the circle of blessing. Discipline was the avenue for them to return to the circle of blessing. The picture helped all of us remember that discipline was for their good; it was not just a release of anger from their mom or dad.
Through faith in Jesus Christ, we are our heavenly Father’s beloved children. Any discipline from the Lord is because of His love and the relationship we have with Him. That relationship is not in question. Just as with our circle of blessing as parents, the Lord disciplines us to restore the harmony and intimacy of our relationship.
Dear Saints, when God disciplines us, it is for our own good. Our loving heavenly Father is not reactive like I used to be. His will is that we would grow in Christ-like character, and He desires to use every person and incident in our lives toward that purpose. Are these things sometimes painful? Yes. Are they for our good? Yes. Does God ever have mixed motives? Never.
Remember: “It is God’s will that you should be sanctified.” (1 Thess. 4:3a, NIV)
“And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to His purpose… to be conformed to the image of His Son.” (Romans 8:28, 29b)
Our Father’s patient discipline is always for our good.
“I renounce the lie that You, Father God, are impatient or angry with me or have rejected me.
I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, are patient and slow to anger, and that when You discipline me, it is a proof of Your love, and not rejection.” (Exodus 34:6; Romans 2:4; Hebrews 12:5-11)
– Neil T. Anderson, The Steps to Freedom in Christ, p. 13