How to Show Love to Your Wife
Husbands—in a month with Valentine’s Day in the middle, let’s be honest, sometimes we’ve been lousy at loving our wives. We can do better—at least, I know I can. We’ve all been guilty of some of the below at some point in our life, maybe even recently…
We’ve prioritized hobbies over helping around the house.
We’ve loved food more than family time.
We’ve listened more to TV than to face-to-face conversations.
We’ve bragged more about our accomplishments than about our spouse.
We’ve desired female images on screens more than our bride’s body.
We’ve invested more money in toys than in dating our mate.
We’ve pleased our boss quicker than our wife.
We’ve encouraged our employees more regularly than our spouse.
We’ve valued our reputation more than our marriage.
We’ve not been the husbands God has designed or called us to be.
These uncomfortable truths aren’t designed to hate-on or put down husbands. They are designed to get our attention. I can do better. You can do better. Together, through God’s truth & power we can do better.
Have you ever heard of, read about, or watched on YouTube about the 5 Love Languages by Dr. Gary Chapmen. I can guarantee you that one of these 5 areas (if not several of them) are how to best show your love to your wife. It is not too late to revive, heal, or strengthen your marriage. Let’s take a look at what the 5 love languages can look like:
1. Quality Time.
A date. Sitting together with no distractions. Shopping with your spouse. Enjoying an activity that she loves regardless of how painful it seems to you or how busy you are. Prioritizing her in your weekly calendar. Saving some energy after work when you return home. Being a good listener.
2. Physical Touch.
A back rub. A foot massage. Helping her relax. Cuddling with no-strings-attached. A hug or kiss to start or finish the day. Sex that prioritizes her pleasure rather than your own satisfaction. Holding hands. A light touch as you pass in the house.
3. Words of Affirmation.
Praise. Encouragement. A written note. A sticky note. A mid-day text message, email, or phone call. A positive statement and truth to send her off each morning. Prayer together to finish your day. Not whining or complaining. Keeping your mouth shut when you are tempted to criticize.
4. Acts of Service.
Starting back on the “honey-do” list. Finishing what you started. Hiring help for what you cannot get to. Picking up around the house. Helping clean the house. Folding and sorting laundry. Taking care of the kids. Taking the kids out for the day to give her time to rest.
5. Receiving of Gifts.
Find, buy, or create gifts for your spouse. A random bouquet of flowers. A thoughtful keepsake. A meal or drink dropped off at their work. A romantic gesture. A handmade craft. Creative projects with your kids for their mom.
In which of these areas would your wife choose to be loved? If you don’t know, study your mate. Or ask her! Have the humility and take the time to say you are sorry and strive to do better.
Let each one of you love his wife as himself.
Ephesians 5:33
Husbands, you can do it. Our wives need us. Let’s do better together…in obedience to God, to protect our spouse, and to overflow & model godly love to our children.
