My Father God is the Author of Life
It was late on Christmas night when we were awakened by a phone call. Mom had been taken to the hospital.
We anxiously awaited an update. My aunt called to say that the doctors thought they had Mom stabilized and were planning to send her to a larger hospital for more effective treatment.
It was 12:20 am when I flipped my phone shut (yes, I had a flip phone!). I remember the time distinctly because of the backlit LED screen with the time in blocky numbers and what the Lord said next to me:
“Get ready to preach your mom’s funeral.”
Everything in me wanted to argue. “We just heard that she is stable! Why are you talking about her funeral?!” It seemed so contrary to what we had just been told, and the progress my mom had made over the past couple years.
When our oldest daughter came along, she was the first grandchild, and Mom woke up to a new realization. She wanted to get healthier so that she could spend years enjoying life with her grandchildren. So, Mom set out to lose some weight. With the help of Weight Watchers and daily walking, she lost more than 110 pounds. She felt great and was able to get down on the floor to love on her grandchildren… all 6 of them that came along before she passed.
Mom also took to mentoring younger mothers. She was leading bible studies and serving in other capacities in her local church. It seemed like everything was going wonderfully well until that Christmas night.
About 20 minutes after I hung up the phone, we received a call from my dad. He simply said, “We lost her.” She was only 56. We were devastated.
Fast forward three months. I was in a very ‘dry’ place spiritually and emotionally, even though I was doing all the ‘right things’ in talking about our grief, staying in prayer and the word, and more. It felt like someone had punched a hole in my emotional tank, and it wouldn’t stay filled.
I remember one day praying and asking the Lord to meet me and help me. I opened to Lamentations and began my daily reading. As I read, I realized that God and His people throughout the ages could identify with where I was at that moment. Jeremiah wrote candidly about it.
“I am the man who has seen affliction by the rod of his wrath…” (Lamentations 3:1, NIV). He went on to use words and phrases like besieged and surrounded with bitterness and hardship… weighed me down with chains… he mangled me and left me without help… pierced my heart.
Jeremiah was feeling like God had stolen all the joy of life. There was no pleasure in anything.
Not only that, but Jeremiah felt that God, the Author of life, was beating him down to the point of giving up.
That’s how he felt. But then, he took his thoughts captive and submitted them to Christ, the One who is Truth. You can literally see the transition right in the text.
“I will never forget this awful time, as I grieve over my loss. Yet I still dare to hope when I call this to mind: The unfailing love of the LORD never ends! By his mercies we have been kept from complete destruction. Great is his faithfulness; his mercies begin afresh each day. I say to myself, ‘The LORD is my inheritance’ therefore, I will hope in him!’” (Lamentations 3:20-24, NLT & CSB)
Through Jeremiah, God communicated that He understood exactly how I was feeling and showed me what I needed to do. It didn’t fix everything, but it did bring tremendous comfort to know the One who is Life was in the struggle with me.
As we approached the following Christmas, my pastor asked me, “What do you do with the question, ‘Why?’”
What a great question. We often ask the Lord why things happen and can get frustrated with Him when we don’t hear a response.
I responded, “I’m not sure if I will ever know the answer to the question, ‘Why?’, but I trust Him.”
And sure enough, there were other challenges waiting for us. But what the Lord taught us during those years was that trusting Him is not just about saying we trust Him. It truly is about relying on Him and growing in intimacy with Him.
The apostle Paul said, “For to set the mind on the flesh is death, but to set the mind on the Spirit is life and peace” (Romans 8:6, ESV).
Dear Saints, the harsh reality of death, and so many things related to living in this Fallen World, attempt to steal the life from our hearts and minds. But as we rely on the Lord, He fills us with His Spirit and life in all its fullness that Jesus came to provide (see John 10:10).
As I was preparing to preach at my mom’s funeral, I looked through her Bible. I remember thinking, ‘I can’t believe she’s dead’ until I read a verse she had highlighted. 2 Corinthians 5:4 states, “For while we are in this tent, we groan and are burdened, because we do not wish to be unclothed but to be clothed with our heavenly dwelling, so that what is mortal may be swallowed up by life.” (NIV) Mom wasn’t dead in terms of ceasing to exist. Because she knew Jesus, she had been swallowed up by life. We would see her again.
Don’t buy the lies of the world, the flesh, and the devil that the pleasures of this life are paramount. As we submit to the One who is Life, we will experience true life in Him and exhibit the fruit of the Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control (Galatians 5:22-23).
“Jesus said… “I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me, even if he dies, will live. Everyone who lives and believes in me will never die. Do you believe this?” (John 11:25-26, CSB)
I renounce the lie that You, Father God, are denying me the pleasures of life.
I choose to believe the truth that You, Father God, are the author of life and will lead me into love, joy, and peace when I choose to be filled with Your Spirit. (Lamentations 3:22-23; Galatians 5:22-24) – Dr. Neil T. Anderson, The Steps to Freedom in Christ, p. 13