Why Is God’s Love So Hard to Live Out?

At first glance, 1 Corinthians 13 looks like a beautiful, idealistic self which I can’t hope to live out.  On my own, I don’t live there.  In fact, I know I can’t. But I think that is the point.   

In our English translation, we don’t immediately understand the meaning of “love” as it is used in here. So, we think that it is something we can and should try to generate and share with others.  As it turns out, we have no ability whatsoever to generate God’s love within us.  Only God can do that.  Any attempt to generate this love most certainly will turn into a law-based relationship.   

So, how will this really work out? How do I “agape love” anyone as I am called to do?  

And if we believe God’s love is already in the heart of the believer, then why don’t we express that love toward others? There are at least a couple of reasons.  

First, am I really a believer?  I have learned over time not to assume this about other people who claim to be Christians.  For those I mentor, at some point I will work them through a salvation prayer.  If we are going to make progress in love, and in their Christian life in general, I (as a mentor) need to be sure they actually have the Holy Spirit in them.  I have to know their status.  Without the Holy Spirit, we can’t make any progress.

Second, folks ask why their behavior is not loving, even after they have become believers.  This is more interesting.  To put it simply, the love of God in them is not being let out.  As it says in Matthew 5:15, we can put a bushel over the love that is naturally radiating from us.  So comes the second possibility: we have held onto core beliefs from our old system and just added Christ to the mix.  I think that a lot of folks who live in legalism may be in this relational place.  They would like to love but are still living under good works and law.  So, they are hiding the true love of God from the world.  Repentance and cleansing are life-changers for everyone, but especially these people.  When repentance and cleansing happen, the foundation they stand upon is restored, and they start to show forth God’s love from within.

Third, perhaps there is also the condition of being easily distracted, deceived, etc., and as a result, to move in and out of a close relationship with God.  John calls us to abide, which appears at first glance to be simply living there… in Christ.  But it seems to me that if it was really automatic, then Jesus would not have given us a command to abide.  Instead, I believe abiding needs intentional, active decisions.  Every day is a new day.  “Do I want to abide today?” Abiding is a choice. It is a continual turning back to God, to seek that relationship which feeds our soul.

Fourth, to live with God—abiding and soaking deep in God’s truth, His words, His character—brings a new level of love, as pointed out in John 15:10.  When we live in this love, we realize God’s deep love toward us and willingly love others as God has said.  We know that God said what He did because He desires us to live the beautiful life He has planned for us.  At this point, we are deeply connected to the source of love, and others in our lives experience God’s love through us. But this is always a growth process. It involves making decisions, letting go of false beliefs, becoming intentional about our relationship with God, and letting God’s love in us flourish.

Don’t get discouraged if your heart and love are not fully developed.  If you are a believer, God is at work.  But you also have a role to play to intentionally grow the expression of God’s love.  Only then can you see the fruit—the full expression—of love described in 1 Corinthians 13.