Forgiveness: The Path to Transformation
When I talk about forgiveness these days, I sometimes call it a gift from God. Only in Christianity, and only in Christ, do we have a precedent for forgiveness. It goes all the way back to a discussion that God had with Moses on a mountain. God describes his own character in Ex 34:7 as the one who is “...forgiving iniquity and transgressions and sin...” There’s lots more in that passage, but for now, let’s just look at forgiveness.
Forgiveness is the choice not to hold onto an offense we’ve suffered. When we are sinned against, we incur a relational debt. It is this relational debt that we release into God’s care when we choose to forgive. Although it impacts our emotions, forgiveness is not an emotion. It is a choice, clear and simple.
Forgiveness has immense power to heal when it includes the person, event, and the resulting feelings. But this inner healing is something that needs to be experienced to believe. When I take people through The Steps to Freedom in Christ, forgiveness is often the step which takes the longest and has the most obvious impact on the freedom seeker. Occasionally, people will refuse to forgive someone, saying it is just too hard. It is hard, but if we refuse this gift from God, the consequence is tragic and long lasting. The impacted relationship never really heals properly.
As I have grown in the Freedom Steps experience, I now tend to let God do His work on their heart. I wait just a little longer for God to speak in this step. Recently, I have seen folks take a deep breath and dive into it. It’s beautiful to see, as I sit in the front row literally watching them change right before my eyes.
But recently, I’ve also been exploring this at a deeper level in my own life. Several weeks ago, I prepared a teaching time on forgiveness; what it is, what it is not, and how to proceed. As is often the case, God gave me a real life lesson just prior to my teaching event. While spending time in prayer, I got the feeling that something unknown to me was wrong deep in my soul. I didn’t know what it was, so as we do in The Steps to Freedom, I prayed and asked God to show me. After several minutes, four separate responses came back. Oddly though, most of them were from a time I didn't have any memory of; I had only heard about them second hand. But it didn’t matter, I proceeded to forgive as I had been taught. Immediately, a weight started to lift in my soul.
I was shocked—forgiveness and healing seem to be available even for things we can’t remember! This was a level of forgiveness I had not yet experienced.
The lesson I learned is that having a memory of an event really isn’t the key concern. If we know that someone has sinned against us, if we have been told so by others or by God, we can be free of the pain and consequence it’s caused when we forgive them. It’s a good idea to pray and forgive the consequences as well. Both are important in order to reach complete wholeness.
God is in the business of healing hearts. And forgiveness is one of the most powerful lessons we learn by simply following His example.